Team Profile: Chaos Machine - Lifestraw

Race Team Bio

Chaos Machine - Lifestraw

Chaos Machine - Lifestraw (Team #13)

  •  ShelterBox ShelterBox Fundraising: ?

  • From: Portland, ME

  • Category: Premier Division

  • Recent honors:
    • Rick and Eric – Untamed New England 2014, Cowboy Tough 2015, Raid Gallaecia 2017
    • Cliff – ITERA Ireland 2016, Raid Gallaecia 2017, 4x USARA National Championships
    • Kate – ITERA Ireland 2016, 3x USARA National Championships, gave birth to a child 2017
    • Cliff and Kate have been racing together for five years and have not yet divorced
    • Same for Eric and Rick

  • Scouting Report:
    [ pending ]


Portland, ME

Chaos Machine - Lifestraw Team Members

Cliff White (Captain)

Kate White

Rick Keilty

Eric Wyler

Race team details

Goals for the race


  • Pack the perfect amount of gear
  • Arrive at the start on time
  • Find some rapids and run them
  • Don’t let Eric steal and eat all the food while the rest of the team is looking at maps
  • See at least one moose
  • Achieve a synchronized pooping schedule
  • Don’t be last, or if so, do it with panache

Previous Untamed New England Highlights


"Rick and Eric competed in Untamed NE 2014 as their first adventure race. One of the highlights of the race happened on night one. Moosehead Lake was so stormy there were huge whitecaps as we were making a 20 mile or so crossing. Rick was navigating purely by trying to keep track of the one or two stars that popped out of the cloud cover, and the canoe kept filling with lots of water. We were about a half mile from land, but Rick kept telling Eric we were only a hundred yards away the entire time to keep them moving along without fear of flooding/flipping. Eric was displeased with this discovery when we got to the other side of the lake and realized we were one of the few teams silly enough to stay on the water during the storm."

Additionally: "Eric heavily leveraged bag balm during the race, and the picture our local paper decided to run post-race was once where his rear end had completely soaked through with bag balm."

Or finally: "The packrafting section was super fun, as it was so windy we kept getting blown 3 strokes backwards for every 2 strokes forward. We ended up having to bail out on them."

Oh, speaking of packrafting: "On the final packrafting section of the dead river, after 4 days of nearly no sleep, we heard a whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh loudly coming from around a bend up ahead. A rescue helicopter came screaming around the corner only 50 yards up from the river, giving us the 'are you ok' signal, to which we responded we were. Another team had lost all of their packrafts farther upstream, and the chopper was coming in to rescue them and make sure everyone was ok. It was reassuring to see that they took safety so seriously."

Team Inspiration


Mostly Twisted Sister songs:

“Be the hunter and the hunted. Keep your target in your sights. Don't be sidetracked or shunted. Let pretenders feel your bite. And if you start to slide, never show you're weak. Don't feel you've got to hide. Remember what you're fighting for, remember what you seek.”

“Oh it's the price we've gotta pay and all the games we've gotta play, makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on. 'Cause it's a game we've gotta lose, though it's a life we've gotta choose. And the price is all of life until it's done.”

Sponsors


Cheese Doodles, Pop-Tarts, Beaudreaux’s Butt Paste

Team Bio Notes

Chaos Machine is a potent combination of the gazelle-like speed and radar-like navigational capabilities of Chaos Raid, and the gritty, never-say-die attitude of Strong Machine. We're out to defend our home turf - in fact, we're the reason there's an "untamed" in Untamed New England. We don't need sleep, we go fastest uphill, and we're powered by the sun and the tears of the teams we pass in the night.